This is Over, C'est Fini

9 days and my American life will be over.

For those who don't know, it didn't work out for me here in LA so I am going back to Europe. You would expect me to go to France but after many hours of thinking, about 3 weeks ago, I decided that England fit me better on many levels (career, money, music, language, people...) and it's not that bad, I'm only from one to 2 hours flight to France so can still go and spend some weekends with my family pretty easily.

I could write a book (if my language was any good ) about why I'm leaving Los Angeles and what I thought of this experience but I won't.
But I do want to say that I was VERY disappointed with people. Honesty isn't really something going on here. I've been given hopes from many people, even my teachers!! And no one followed up on it.
Friends... haven't really had any. I didn't get on that well with my roomies so we lived together and that was it. I met tons of people with whom it went great the first time we met, we say "lets call each other and hang out", things like that but either they didn't respond to me or if only they had my contacts, didn't make any move or did after months. Oh and let's not forget the flakeys who set up meetings and call or don't call at the last minute to cancel (Americans but also french) . All this to say that you might not realize it but as someone who came in a country by herself not knowing anyone, building new friendships is very important and all those people who gave me hopes of jobs or friendship, who flaked me 5 minutes before we were suppose to meet in a place where I had to take the bus for an hour etc... FUCK YOU . I don't usually curse but hey, I guess I don't care this time.
I spent a year and a half in a place I had fought 10 years to come to, took all kind of risks (financial and personal) and all I did here was work, study, sleep and eat. Except a few exceptions towards the end. If you know you won't be able to do something, then shut up and you won't hurt anyone. You don't need to promise anything, just be honest and no one will be disappointed. trust me, it's way better than giving false hopes.

As much as this sucks, I'm grateful I came here. If I hadn't, I would have regretted it all my life and wouldn't have met some awesome people and seen some great things.

So I want to thank Jeff, Priestley, Jake, Chad and Ricky from TPV, Austin, Charlie,Caitlin, Megin, Ashley, Cathy and Bart (TPV family) for the fun they gave me since I met them ( too late but better late than never, right?!). I'm really glad I met you, and TPV, if it wasn't for you, I would have never been to Vegas. I really hope we'll keep in touch and that I'll see you in England (my door will always be open for you) or next time I come to LA on vacation.
Don't give up the dream!! You know this town is full of A**H***S but there are still a few exceptions. It requires time and digging to find them but at least you have time. Doesn't matter how down you can be some days, you have a great deal of friends and family behind you, fans, and of course me, hehe . I believe in you and know you'll make it. (I'm wrong when it come to myself but never when it comes to others)

I also want to thank Feldo for his support and friendship.

Finally, I want to thank the Suarez family without whom my stay here would have been even more of a disaster. They were here to support me when I was pretty down and thanks god for that. You're family to me.

The end folks